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No. 1 politically correct school

Obama staff lauds ESP

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Eric Holder pleads ignorance


Time to censor TV, radio, Internet

Let's borrow to bail out Greece

Andrew Young 'mad as heck,' wanted to take blame for Sestak affair

by Al S. Wehl

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — The most infamous Southern scapegoat since Tom Robinson of "To Kill a Mockingbird" said today that he is irate over being passed over as the fall guy for the Obama Administration in the Joe Sestak scandal.

Andrew Young gained fame and millions of dollars after he wrote a best seller that detailed how he had claimed to be the father of the daughter born out of wedlock to former Presidential candidate John Edwards and a mistress, campaign videographer Rielle Hunter.

Young said in a press conference at the University of North Carolina, Edwards' current employer, that he realized President Barack Obama needed a way out when Sestak admitted to turning down a bribe to get out of the Democrat primary race for Pennsylvania Senator. That race was against the incumbent, former Republican Arlen Specter, who used to be a Democrat before he switched parties the first time he ran for the Senate, a move he repeated in a failed effort to keep his job when polls convinced him that the Republicans were going to vote him out.

"I called up Barry and told him I would tell the world that it was me who offered Joe the job of Secretary of the Navy," Young said. "I kind of enjoyed all the attention that came with helping out Senator Edwards, and I've been dreaming of doing that circuit all over again. I mean how many times in your lifetime do you get to be on Larry King, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck in the same week?

"Can you imagine the book I could have written for helping Arlen, one of Obama's closest friends, keep his job? Naturally, I might have spiced up the story a bit, but I can guarantee I would have had another best seller on my hands.

"Now they're trying to pin this on President Clinton. Who's going to believe that? Do they honestly think the New York Times or CBS or NBC or CNN would believe Bill offered the job totally on his own without any knowledge by Obama? I know the mainstream media are totally behind Obama, but nobody in their right mind would fall for this story.

"I'm mad as heck that they didn't let me help out."

The mass media were in a buzz yesterday when the story was floated that the Obama Administration had asked President Clinton to persuade Sestak to get out of the Senate race. The contest was considered crucial because polls indicated that Specter would beat his Republican opponent in November, giving the Democrats enough votes to pass their agenda with no bipartisan support, while Sestak might lose.

Democrat campaign adviser Paul M. Reeder said he had told the president's Chief of Staff Raum "Dead Fish" Emanuel that Sestak would beat Specter head to head because he was taking a stand against Obamacare, the big bank bailout, the takeover of GMC, and borrowing trillions from the Communist Chinese to expand the federal government.

"I told Raum and Barry during our weekly pickup basketball game that they had better get Sestak out of the way," Reeder said, "or a Republican might end up getting Specter's job.

"They went to a palm reader to see what job to offer Sestak, a retired Navy admiral, but they obviously got bad advice. Maybe they should have called Nancy Reagan's astrologer."

Emanuel's Barack-room lawyer, Les Cheatham of the well-known law office, Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe, said his client "knows nothing of any wrong doing because he wasn't in the room when or if President Clinton offered or didn't offer a job or anything else to Joe Sestak or whoever else might have met or not met with President Clinton or whoever else might have misintepreted anything that Emanual might or might not have said in any conversation that might or might not have taken place."

"Mr. Emanuel, whose name means the Lord God Savior of Mankind, has worked long and hard to maintain his reputation as one of the kindest, most honest and caring bipartisans ever to serve in Washington," Cheatham said when interviewed by Skinnyreporter at his Georgetown office. "Let me assure you that he would never be involved in any sort of nasty back-room illegal political intrigue."

When asked whether the story that Emanuel had sent a 30-inch decomposing fish to a pollster who had predicted poor results, the lawyer said the story was categorically untrue.

"Mr. Emanuel was merely attempting to pay a gratuity to the pollster, Seldon M. Wright, who was a tropical fish collector," Cheatham said. "He had bought the fish alive and had hoped Wright would add it to his 20-foot saltwater aquarium. My client simply did not understand the oxygen needs of such a large fish, which unfortunately passed away to meet his maker long before arriving in Mr. Wright's mailbox.

"Let it be a lesson to all would-be gifters. If you're going to give a fish, stick with goldfish and neon tetras."

So far President Clinton has failed to deny or to confirm any connection with the Sestak affair. His wife, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said her husband's memory is clouding as he ages and might even be approaching the undependability of her own mind, which she blamed multiple times when investigators questioned her about suspicious conduct and lost files.

"I didn't recall then, and I don't recall now," she said. "My husband, President Clinton, also does not recall much. He knows he didn't do anything wrong just because it is not in his nature to do anything sneaky, subversive or egotistical. And even though he said President Obama was living in a fairy tale, they've since patched things up. My husband would do about anything to help the president now well, almost anything. He would never offer a bribe in the president's name because that could end up hurting the Democrat Party and Obama both, something my husband would never do.

"Now, what were we talking about?"

Quote of the Day

“Judges and senates have been bought for gold; Esteem and love were never to be sold. ” — Alexander Pope

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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