Californians mull animal rights

Administration lowers tax threshold

Ministers banned on federal property

Immigrants want country back

Volcano solution proposed

Clinton: 'Jail conservatives'

Alaskans thankful for 'saved' jobs

Liberals Slam Arizona Immigration Law

by Rhett Bach

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Arizona's new law requiring police officers to detain undocumented immigrants is illegal. That's the assessment of President Barack Obama and U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, who together held a press conference Tuesday to say the law could lead to illegal criminal profiling.

"This law is poorly conceived and misguided," Mr. Obama said. "People who live out in Arizona obviously lack the wisdom and insight that comes from attending an Ivy League School and living inside the Beltway. Arizonans are prejudiced by living in a state with an estimated half million undocumented immigrants and listening to the daily news of undocument immigrants who commit murders, kidnappings and other serious crimes. It is obvious to any thinking person that this law illegally discriminates against those who exercise their rights to violate federal and state laws and also unlawfully targets citizens of other countries, particularly those who do not speak our imperialist language, English."

Holder said Arizona's law could have unfortunate and unintended consequences.

"The bill could result in a higher unemployment rate," he said, "If there were half a million fewer undocumented immigrants in the state, we would need fewer doctors and nurses to provide free medical care to them, fewer law enforcement officers to investigate drug- and gang-related murders and home invasion robberies, fewer judges and prosecutors, fewer school teachers to educate the children of immigrants who pay a disporportionately low share of taxes, and fewer prison guards to keep 45 percent of Arizona inmates behind bars. What were those hicks who passed this law thinking?"

Holder said Arizona has no right to tread on federal domain.

"Elected representatives of the people have no right to decide which federal laws to enforce," Holder said. "That's the exclusive prerogative of myself and our great leader, who agrees with me that immigration laws illegally discriminate against those who are forced through their circumstances to bypass procedures that Congress unwisely created to enter the country legally. However, I see nothing wrong with hiring officers to staff the U.S. Border Patrol as long as they do nothing that substantially prevents undocumented future Democrats from entering the country."

The most objectionable feature of the Arizona law is its penalties: Undocumented immigrants can be fined $2,500 and jailed six months. Illegal aliens view these penalties as more severe than deportation.

"Before this law I sometime get free ticket to visit my familia," said one undocumented worker, Jorge Ortiz. "That no problem. But new law make me give dinero or go jail. That big problem."

Opponents of the new law used refried beans to paint swastikas on the state Capitol. They might have been inspired by the Rev. Al Sharpton, who compared Arizona to Nazi Germany.

Some opponents called for a boycott of Arizona goods and of travel to Arizona. The immediate result, however, was an immediate increase in bookings at Arizona resorts as some travelers said they would be safer in a state that was eliminating illegal immigration and its concomitant problems.

Mexican President Felipe Calderon said the law is discriminatory against Mexicans, central Americans and South Americans. He warned that enforcement of the law would lead Mexico to continue its restrictions on Americans and other foreigners who enter his country illegally.

"If Arizona does not rescind this law," he said, "we will be forced to stop exporting goods and services to the United States. That could force U.S. companies with factories in Mexico to relocate north of the border, where they would be forced to hire currently unemployed Americans at higher wages. I will immediately ban the shipment of any pirated DVDs and CDs to the U.S. as well as fake Rolex watches and phony designer sunglasses."

Alessandra Soler Meetze, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Arizona said citizens who "look or sound foreign" will be subjected to "never-ending requests for police to confirm your identity and to confirm your citizenship."

"This is just as wrong and unconstitutional as requiring a driver who looks or sounds drunk to be subjected to questioning or testing," he said. "In fact, I would say this measure is almost as egregious as requiring school children to recite the Pledge of Allegiance or airline passengers to allow their luggage to be searched for bombs."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said he is working on a bill that criminalizes enforcement of immigration laws. The bill labels as illegal hate speech the term "illegal alien," which could be legally employed only in reference to undocumented life forms from other planets.

"When you don't enforce a law," Reid said, "eventually it becomes impossible to enforce. We who are proud to call ourselves liberals and progressives have succeeded for decades in stifling enforcement of federal immigration laws, which means that it is now politically impossible to enforce those laws. The power of our party is derived from the various minorities that make up the majority, and they are pleased when we choose to ignore immigration laws. I would not be in office today if it weren't for Democrat opposition to enforcement of immigration laws."

Reid said illegal immigration helps Democrats, whose goal is to eliminate federal income tax for more than 50 percent of the public.

"We're currently at 47 percent," Reid said. "That's pretty good, but the Democrat Party won't have a lifelong lock on political power until over 50 percent of people want those with good-paying jobs to pay for the entire federal

budget. Allowing good Mexican people to move up here and work for peanuts will help us attain our goal sooner."

Sharpton said he will travel to Arizona and march in protest against the law.

"We're gonna make this a new civil rights march," he said. "I'm not going to carry any proof of citizenship, and if they arrest me, thinking I'm an undocumented Mexican, that will make Arizonans look like fools."

Sharpton said he was considering dressing up in a zarape (serape) and sombrero and already had begun practicing a Mexican accent for his attempt to hoodwink Arizona sheriff's deputies.

Quote of the Day

"For an American citizen to vote as a German-American, an Irish-American, or an English-American, is to be a traitor to American institutions; and those hyphenated Americans who terrorize American politicians by threats of the foreign vote are engaged in treason to the American Republic." — Theodore Roosevelt, 1915.

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