Feminists outraged over Cain's non-sexual gestures

by Joy Ryder

Nov. 1, 2011, Washington, DC — Feminists across the nation are expressing outrage over Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain's admitted non-sexual gestures when he was CEO of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s.

Gloria Steinem, who championed feminism as editor of Ms. Magazine in the '70s and early '80s and said Bill Clinton deserved one free grope of Kathleen Willie, came out of retirement today to attack Cain.

"This black man obviously harassed a female employee when he told her she came up to his chin," Steinem said. "This is a prime example of male chauvinism and blatant racism . Cain obviously likes to look down on women."

Amanda Hugankiss, chief sexual harassment investigator for the National Association of Sexually Transmitted Y-Chromosomes (NASTY), said Cain's first mistake was talking with women in the first place.

"Our research indicates that more than 99.9 percent of sexual harassment begins with verbal communication," she said. "Men in supervisory positions must nip sexual harassment in the bud by declining to communicate with subordinate females verbally, let alone by gestures."

Skinnyreporter was able to track down both women who received financial settlements with the restaurant group after accusing Cain of sexual harassment. They revealed even more egregious examples of harassment.

Anita Mann was an 18-year-old mail room clerk in 1998 when Cain once called her a mail girl.

"I was horrified," she said. "I already had graduated from high school and deserved to be called a woman. All the other girls in the room told me they had been harassed in the same way."

Mann revealed that she was forced to deliver large amounts of objectionable printed matter to Cain.

"I felt threatened of being fired if I refused to deliver magazines that I found highly inappropriate," she said. "For example, he subscribed to Field and Stream, which contained articles about killing animals. He also ordered publications about capitalism, such as Inc. and Entrepreneur. And he made me deliver his weekly copies of Sports Illustrated, including the yearly swimsuit issue. I finally couldn't take this s#%! anymore and filed a complain with the Sexual Harassment Institute Team (S#%!)."

Mann said she couldn't reveal the terms of her out-of-court settlement but said she soon was able to afford a condo, sixteen piercings, $6,000 in body decorations, three sets of horn transplants, sexual reassignment surgery and enough tattoos to cover his/her arms and back.

She said she had enough money left over to pay for a legal name change from Anita Mann to Ima Mann. Now she is considering another name change to honor the recently diseased inventor of her Iphone.

"I'm thinkin of Anita Job," he/she said.

Cain accuser Mann after transgender surgery.

Former secretary Jenny Tull said she was subjected to constant harassment when Cain insisted on calling her by name in front of others. Tull said she considered suing her parents but decided against draining their retirement accounts and chose to file suit against her employer instead.

Tull said she received punitive damages for the name-calling as well as for a dozen or more of Cain's non-sexual gestures that "frightened and angered her" during her stint at the restaurant association.

"One time he did a fist bump with me," she said. "That indicated to me that he considered me to be infected with some sort of communicable disease. I would expect him to know that you can't catch gonorrhea from a handshake."

Tull said she once met with Cain over her being late for work eight days in a row.

"He made a throat-cutting motion when talking about eliminating me," she said. "I was afraid he was going to use a knife.

"I can't reveal the amount of my settlement or even if I got one," she said. "But it I were to say it was five figures and more than $95,000, you would have a good idea."

Tull said she used a portion of the money to buy a house trailer from Paula Jones, and placed the balance in a personal health savings account to cover anticipated expenses for treatment of sexually transmitted diseases and schizophrenia.

The National Organization of Women does not condone any form of sexual harassment, including any non-sexual gestures that might be construed as sexual harassment, according to Director S. Kitts Oyd.

Cain's actions qualify as sexual harassment because his actions made women who were shorter than he is feel that they were height-challenged, Oyd said.

"This is far worse than what President Clinton was accused of doing to Paula Jones," she said. "As my predecessor, Eleanor Smeal, said back in the day, Clinton's asking for a little excitement was a 'marginal sex harassment case at best.' Ms. Jones should have known what she was getting into when she went to her governor's hotel room alone.

"This Cain affair is far worse. These poor girls weren't expecting to be treated that way in a working environment, especially by a conservative."

Conservatives are held to a higher standard than liberals when it comes to sexual indiscretions, according to the Feminist Research Institute of Governmental Internal Direction (FRIGID).

Director Luna Teak said the mainstream media as well as the public can overlook, ignore and forgive immoral behavior by left-wing politicians because they seldom preach against it.

"Conservatives talk a lot about what's right and wrong," she said. "and so when they do something that they say is wrong, they come across as hypocrites. That's really Cain's problem, and the problem of every other Republican candidate. If they are even perceived to act against their beliefs, the media and the public run them out of town on a rail."

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