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Stars cheer Obama on raising their taxes

Links of the Day

"60 Minutes" confirms Clinton declined to kill bin Laden

Today's Synapses

"I'm so embarrassed," North Carolina Gov. Bev Perdue complained May 11 after only 61 percent of voters in her state passed an amendment outlawing gay marriage. "We look like Mississippi." She later apologized, saying that she meant to say, "We're just as backward as Mississippi and the 30 other states that have voted against sanctioning gay marriage."

Wanda Sykes said Mitt Romney is just like Forrest Gump. Both dropped everything to find a missing girl in trouble, served their communities (Romney by saving the SLC Summer Olympics and straightening out the finances of Massachusetts, refusing to accept a salary in each instance; Gump for mowing the grass for free). Both also attracted crowds of admirers who want to be led through the desert to the promised land. Both are well-traveled, loyal to friends, wealthy and inspirational. Both were generous to a fault. Both once cut long hair (Forrest cut his own after his Moses-like exodus through the Great Basin wilderness). Both keep in shape and love abused girls who have got themselves into trouble. Both are loving fathers and good providers. Both created jobs. Both made decisions that made a lot of money for their partners. And Sykes doesn't think much of either man.

Limerick of the Day

Biden's epiphany

Old Joe said it on "Meet the Press,"
I think it's the time and the place,
For lesbians and gays,
To plan wedding days.
I learned from the show, "Will and Grace."

Wikileaks releases copy of test required of Democrat delegates

by O.B. Servor
Skinnyreporter.com

May 16, 2012, LONDON — Julian Assange of Wikileaks, under house arrest in Great Britain, took time out from his Russian-sponsored talk show today to announce that one of his spies had procured a copy of a new test that delegates to the Democrat National Convention must pass before voting.

The Democrat National Committee voted to require the test after a poll revealed that a majority of registered Democrats were ignorant of basic political facts, according to DNC Chief Pollster X.N. Turrick.

"We think a lot of delegates are actually Republicans or Libertarians who registered as Democrats," he said. "That's the only logical explanation that we could reach after assessing the results of our polling. Hardly any delegates knew the positions of the Democrat Party, such as drilling for oil does not increase the supply of gasoline, fetuses do not have the right to live, increasing the national debt is the only way to reduce it, global cooling is the result of global warming, and a surprisingly low percentage supported the political stands of the party."

Turrick regretted that the test had been leaked to the public because he doesn't want the Republican Party to use a similar test to disqualify Democrats posing as GOP delegates.

The test consists of 10 multiple-choice and true-false questions. It allows the DNC to assess delegates in several keys areas, including Democrat ethics, knowledge of historical facts that are essential to understand the party platform, understanding of important Democrat positions, and support of party goals. Skinnyreporter is reproducing the test here so that readers may take it to determine whether they could qualify to act as delegate at this year's convention, when Barack Obama is expected to be named the nominee of the 2012 presidential race unless former President Bill Clinton succeeds in changing his wife's mind about trying to regain her former residence and travel amenities.

DEMOCRAT DELEGATE QUALIFICATION TEST

  1. President Obama has taken steps to protect the rights of nurses who are forced against their religious convictions to assist in abortions [ ] True [ ] False
  2. An important event in the civil rights movement occurred when a Democrat president of the United States sent the U.S. Army to force the Republican governor of Arkansas to allow nine black students into Little Rock Central High School. [ ] True [ ] False
  3. The Obama administration believes that firefighters should be hired on the basis of their character and abilities and not on the color of their skin. [ ] True [ ] False
  4. The Democrat Party's position is that the current tax system is unfair because rich people do not pay their fair share of income taxes. Currently the top 10 percent of income earners pay which percentage of federal income tax revenues? [ ] 71% [ ] 51% [ ] 21% [ ] 1%
  5. When he heard that a friend's daughter was missing, which presidential candidate shut down his office and made sure all the workers were paid to help search for her, organized and paid for the search, and rescued her from a life-threatening situation? [ ] Obama [ ] Romney
  6. Using their 2010 tax returns as a guide, which millionaire has contributed a lower percentage of his income to charity? [ ] Romney [ ] Obama
  7. Since Republicans lost control of Congress, the United States has experienced an increase of how many net jobs? [ ] 4 million [ ] 2 million [ ] 153,000 [ ] less than 10
  8. The Obama administration has taken aggressive measures to ensure that military personnel who are overseas to protect the interests of the United States are allowed to vote by absentee ballot and have their votes counted? [ ] True [ ] False
  9. An estimated 180,000 illegal aliens are registered to vote in Florida. The Obama administration has taken steps to ensure that only legal residents may cast votes. [ ] True [ ] False
  10. In an effort to promote cooperation between the states and the federal government, President Obama insisted that governors of states that border Mexico were invited to take part in a summit to discuss methods of reducing illegal immigration? [ ] True [ ] False

Here are the correct answers. You can click on each answer for background information:

  1. False.
  2. False. The president was a Republican and the governor was a Democrat.
  3. False
  4. 71 percent.
  5. Romney.
  6. Obama.
  7. Less than 10.
  8. False.
  9. False.
  10. False.

How do you rate? 1-3: Dedicated Democrat. 4-5: Closet Socialist. 6: Smarter than the star of "Chimpanzee," who scored 5. 7-8: Independent voter. 9-10: Republican spy.

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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