Obama: 'It's only fair for rich folks to turn over excess'

by Justin Case,

WASHINGTON, D.C., May 18, 2011 — Citing "deep disappointment" that his policies have failed to improve the lot of the lower and middle classes, President Obama today announced an executive order to put wealth redistribution on the fast track.

"It's simply not fair that some citizens have more than others," he said in a speech to the Redistribution and Equitable Dividends Society (REDS). "The evils of capitalism and free enterprise have permitted untold millions of greedy Americans to gain more than their fair share of the world's assets. It is high time that those assets be redistributed to those who have fallen behind."

Obama said his health insurance reform bill was supposed to have accelerated a reapportionment of wealth to the poor, but the legislation was altered so much by the time it passed in the most partisan vote in history that it failed to accomplish what it was meant to achieve.

"Very few citizens who do not work have been able to afford health insurance under the new bill," Obama said. "In the fair society that I envision, health care will be a right, not a privilege, so nobody will have to work to get the finest health care."

The President's Redistribution Order of Benevolence, Income and Nationalism (ROBIN) requires the Internal Revenue Service to seize all individual and corporate assets that are considered excessive.

"If you are a public employee or make less than $30,000 a year, you have nothing to worry about," said ROBIN czar Pace M. Moore. "That is, unless you have hoarded more than a reasonable amount of food and money. This order targets only those assets claimed by individuals, families and companies that own more than average amounts of money, food and other items."

Senate Finance Committee Chairman Penny Nichols said Obama's order should be called the Robin Hood law because it is designed to take from the rich and middle class and give to the poor.

"People should be able to keep and spend at least 25 percent of their income after federal, state and local taxes," he said.

Assistant Treasury Secretary Morey Zid Jewels said that percentage might be unattainable because federal, state and local governments need the money to pay federal employees and to fund their insurance and pension funds.

"We're hopeful that citizens in the private sector will be able to keep at least 1 percent of their earnings for non-necessities," he said. "We think people should be allowed to buy ice cream at least once a month, for example."

Owen Moore of the president's Small Business Administration said an important component of ROBIN is a higher tax rate on S corporations.

"The problem we have with small businesses is that they are able to write off so much," he said. "We commonly see shoe stores, for example, write off the cost of their inventory, hired help, advertising, rent and even the energy they waste trying to keep their inefficient shops lit and heated. Often there is very little left for the government to tax. The president's proposal taxes gross revenues rather than net income to ensure that the government gets what it fairly deserves."

President Obama said he wants to raise taxes on any family that brings in at least $200,000 a year, even if doing so reduces tax revenues and causes the spending deficit to increase.

"We have to be fair and realistic," he said. "Nobody really thinks we can make drastic cuts in federal spending. We have already more than doubled foreign aid since I took office in order to spread our wealth, so there's $173 billion out the door. I've already promised $30 billion for global warming, $63 billion for the global health initiative, $665 million for world family planning, and $8 billion to bail out Greece so that public employees there can continue to retire earlier than Americans. That leaves only one solution, and that is to raise taxes on Americans."

Alice K. Ware, newly appointed to oversee ROBIN, said concerned citizens should support increased federal spending because it means the government is evening out the income curve.

"If we take from people with money," she said, "it narrows the poverty gap so that there is less distance between the haves and the have-nots. The $30 billion we are spending on the global warming problem, for example, even if it doesn't reduce global warming, will be paid for by people who make more money than they need, and that's only fair to people who do not make as much money as they want."

Gray-haired Rep. May Brown-Dye (D-Delaware), who chairs the House Misappropriations Committee, said the administration has identified a simple way to raise revenues without raising taxes.

"We plan to end the deduction for mortgage interest," she said. "That's only fair because renters don't get to deduct any portion of their rent, while their landlords get to deduct depreciation, mortgage interest and even maintenance. If landlords can't write off as much, they will contribute greatly toward wealth redistribution. We don't think rents will go up."

Senator Marsha Deimz (D-Rhode Island) said she will reintroduce next week legislation that originally was proposed by President Obama to eliminate or slash deductions for charitable contributions.

"Letting people choose their own charities is idiotic," she said. "The government knows best who should get what. Too much money is going to churches, Jerry's kids and the March of Dimes instead of where it really needs to go, such as to union pensions, foreign banks and federal workers. If people had to pay taxes on the money they give to charitable organizations, everybody will benefit."

REDS Director Sharon Reba Nuze said federal employees will be exempt from redistribution because their income already has been derived from revenues that have been contributed voluntarily by high-income taxpayers.

"Taxing that income would amount to double taxation," she said.

Nuze said workers in the private sector, however, must pay more in taxes.

"The top 10 percent of income earners pay only 70 percent of federal income tax," she said. "I would like to see that climb to 100 percent. The top taxpayers in New York, for example, spend only 60 percent of their gross income in federal, state and local taxes. I agree with economic genius Michael Moore that the rich need to pay at least twice that. The rich already have too much money, and Uncle Sam could do a lot better job of spending it."

Celia Short, the White House czar in charge of providing broadband access to every home in America, said fast internet access is an inalienable right.

"People can't exist today without broadband," she said. "Who wants to wait around for half an hour to download the State of the Union address? It is the role of government to coerce those who can afford broadband to pay for those who can't."

Once low-income citizens have free broadband access, Short said her plan will provide them free cell phones, free satellite TV, free electric cars and free restaurant coupons.

"America is the land of freedom," she said. "And America cannot truly be free unless the government uses its police power to ensure that it has the income necessary to give its most unfortunate citizens the products and services they deserve."

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