Team Obama brags that falling wages are helping to redistribute income

by Kristel Ware

Aug. 23, 2012, Washington, DC — President Obama's reelection campaign and its surrogates today celebrated news that income in the U.S. fell more during the past three years than during the deepest recession since the Great Depression.

"This is great news!" exclaimed Deputy Campaign Chief Blaye M. Worthey. "The president promised to redistribute income, and this is an indication of another promise fulfilled. The chasm between the poor and the middle class is getting smaller."

Worthey said the clearest indication that income is being redistributed to the poor is that since December 2007 average income has fallen a record 7.2 percent.

Obama's new czar of income redistribution, Paul Pott, said the best news is that income fell most among citizens who had attended college, while those who had graduated high school declined the lest.

"The poorest of the poor will always earn nothing," Pott said, "and menial laborers with no schooling or training will always earn next to nothing. Our great leader realized long ago that the best way to close the poverty gap would be to adopt policies that would cause citizens who are lucky enough to receive education and training to lose income. We're gratified to see that the president has been able to accomplish that feat in only three years."

Joseph Stalling, director of the Income Equalization Department (IED), said Obama's success at reducing median income is among his great accomplishments.

"For too long capitalism has permitted privileged members of our society to acquire an unfair and disproportionate share of our nation's income," he said. "We are committed to President Obama's dream that all people will get the same fair shot."

Chief Speech Writer Carl Marks said the president was discouraged during his 2008 campaign as he traveled about the country and noticed that many Americans live in homes that are far too big for their needs.

"Things have been getting better lately," Marks said. "In the three years that the president has been campaigning for reelection he has noticed that many of those homes have become empty as their occupants have been moving to smaller quarters. The president has a dream that all little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls in public playgrounds at public housing sites, where all citizens of every color will have identical living spaces and equalized incomes."

Reelection Campaign Adviser V. Lattimer Lennon said another indication of the president's success in redistributing income is data that proves there are fewer millionaires in America than when Obama took office.

"The president's goal is to lower the income of all billionaires and millionaires," Lennon said. "If America reelects him, he promises to raise tax rates on the wealthy to ensure that they don't have disposable income to waste on investing in companies that survive on the labor of others."

Obama's Hispanic campaign liaison, Nikki Cruz Chef, said an important accomplishment of the Obama administration has been to reduce disposable income.

"What got us in this mess was people who had too much money to spend on what they wanted," she said. "It's clearly the government's role to prevent citizens from wasting precious financial resources on luxuries such as private boats and automobiles, overly spacious homes and out-of-state vacations when unskilled laborers are forced to walk or ride mass transit, live in small apartments and work at minimum-wage jobs with little time and money for vacations.

Tax Adjustment Czar Rudy Hess III said the president has promised to make top earners pay their fair share of taxes to ensure national income equalization. He said the top 10 percent of income earners in America pay only 70 percent of federal income tax revenues.

"The president wants to see the rich pay 100 percent of federal tax revenues," he said. "The best way to do that is to return to the days when top earners paid more than 92 percent of their income to the federal government, which was the top rate when I was born in 1953.

"If you are a millionaire, that would still leave you with at least $25,000 to live on after state, local, property and sales taxes. That's still a lot more than the homeless get in welfare checks."

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