Troops to fight Tea Party terrorists

Obama officials take first stab at creating jobs, shut down guitar plant

by May K. Snow-Cents

Aug. 26, 2011, Washington, D.C. — The Obama Administration today said its first stab at job creation in the private sector is expected to result in 250 new jobs in India. The Justice Department on Tuesday shut down both Gibson guitar factories in Tennessee, saying the company had followed the letter of the law in importing wood from India but had violated the spirit of the law.

"We found out Gibson was importing wood from India without first paying native Indians to fashion the wood into finished products," U.S. Department of Labor Secretary Cher Ever-Singh said. "Gibson is taking jobs away from poor people in India and giving them to people who have modern homes with central heating and cooling. Even though Gibson might have been in compliance with the letter of the law, they are violating the spirit of international wealth distribution by fostering a system that increases the wealth of American workers and companies at the expense of unemployed workers in third world countries."

Gibson officials said they mistakenly thought that merely obeying the letter of the law was sufficient and did not realize the latitude with which federal agencies could employ their power to ensure the fulfillment of President Obama's promises to bring fundamental change to the United States and wealth redistribution to the world.

"We are laser focused on creating more jobs," Vice-President Joe Biden said in announcing the Gibson raid, in which 20 Justice Department enforcement officers armed with fully automatic weapons invaded and took over the guitar maker's facilities. "However, we don't want more jobs in so-called right-to-work states, such as Tennessee, where factory workers can work without paying dues to labor unions."

Biden said labor unions are among the most important financial contributors to Democrat campaigns and are expected to channel directly or indirectly more than $300 million dollars of union workers' dues to Obama's $1 billion reelection campaign.

Justice Department Assistant Director Les Knott Workman said Tennessee is one of only 22 states that are still backward enough to have right-to-work laws remaining on the books.

"Almost all right-to-work states tend to vote Republican," he said. "That's because non-union workers are able to contribute their entire disposable income toward any politician they choose rather than those who support true Democratic principles, such as a woman's right to have an abortion, a union's right to coerce all employees of a company to pay union dues, the voters' right to seize excessive and unneeded earnings of the wealthy, and the right of the government to remove firearms from individual ownership."

Assistant Treasury Secretary Ben Eva Lunt said the federal government will take control of 61 percent of Gibson guitars unless the company begins complying with the orders of federal agencies.

"We gave Gibson fair warning," he said. "If the president disagrees with federal law, his executive orders trump congressional bills as well as previous interpretations of federal regulations."

White House Deputy Press Officer Mark Downe said Obama has the obligation to take corrective action when Congress can't agree on policies that meet his standards.

"As our great leader, President Obama has the power to act when Congress is gridlocked or when it responds to political pressure and creates laws that fail to promote Democratic principles," Downe said. "Everybody knows that the president already has begun to take actions to bypass Congress. He decided to ignore the Defense of Marriage Act in February and earlier this month extended citizenship to thousands of undocumented migrants whose feelings were hurt when Congress failed to pass the D.R.E.A.M. Act. It should come as no surprise to anybody if our great leader instructs the Justice Department to ignore unfair regulations regarding wood importation or any other rules that fail to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor."

Department of Commerce Spokesman Price Wright said one reason Gibson was targeted was that it charges excessively for its products.

"Why should Americans be forced to pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars for a guitar when we can import millions of Chinese guitars for less than $50?" he asked.

Quote of the Day

"Government is not the solution to our problem. Government is the problem." — President Ronald Reagan

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