Time to amend the Second Amendment, Obama says

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Only gun control advocates should have guns, gun control advocates advocate

by Clare Voient

WASHINGTON, D.C., April 18, 2013 — An organization seeking to outlaw private ownership of firearms has proposed a federal firearms ban that exempts gun control advocates and members of several other groups.

Long-time director of the Organization Against Firearms Sales, "Smokey" Les Pouter, said citizens who resist what President Obama calls "commonsense gun control" have demonstrated an absence of commonsense as well as an inability to employ logic and political correctness and, hence, should be considered mentally ill and unauthorized to keep and bear arms.

Saying "only responsible citizens should be allowed to purchase and possess firearms," Pouter urged passage of Senate Bill 243 and House Bill 338. The bills prohibit firearms possession by the following: "right-wing extremists, members of the National Rifle Association, former military personnel, anti-environment recreational shooters who cause sound and lead pollution by wasting precious resources, hunters who 'violate the civil rights of animals,' Tea Party members and other dissidents of progressive government, and opponents of coerced wealth redistribution."

"It only makes sense to confiscate firearms from persons and sub-humans who have demonstrated insanity through their actions and publicly stated beliefs," he said. "Joining or publicly supporting the National Rifle Association is prima facie evidence of insanity."

OAFS Vice-President Rhee Peters said a survey of her group indicated that, unlike gun control opponents, who typically live in rural areas where they seldom need guns for self-protection, members of her organization typically live in cities where crime rates are high.

"Our members are higher class and have more money and prestige than our opponents," she said. "Many of our members are celebrities who often wear expensive jewelry that attracts robbers. They and their families are also susceptible to kidnapping by criminals hoping to collect large ransoms. Although some of our members are averse to carrying weapons themselves and prefer to hire armed security personnel, they reserve the right to purchase and carry arms."

He said Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn, Rosie O'Donnell, Whoopi Goldberg, Tony Bennett and Chris Rock already have applied for exemptions for their armed bodyguards.

Last month anti-gun advocate and current astronaut Mark E. Kelly tried to buy an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle in Arizona, but the owner of the shop where Kelly had paid for and was expected to pick up the weapon, refunded his money and declined to complete the transaction. Kelly's wife, former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords, had been shot and grievously wounded in 2011 by a mentally disturbed man.

"If we make it illegal to own guns, then criminals won't be able to get guns," Kelly said. "Those of us who are trying to pass commonsense gun legislation must have the right to carry guns, however, because we are making people who want to keep their guns really, really mad."

In anticipation of legislation that allows the federal government to confiscate firearms from individuals who refuse to turn in their guns, President Obama last week created the National Armless Zone Implementation Service (NAZIS). Newly appointed director Remington Magnum said recent high profile shootings in gun-free zones in Colorado and Connecticut have created public support for laws that would create more gun-free zones.

"It is nothing short of criminal for us to fail to criminalize the possession of guns in gun-free zones by criminals," he said. "It's obvious that we need more gun-free zones where it's a crime for criminals to carry or use a gun in the commission of a crime."

Magnum vowed that NAZIS will be ready to conduct mass raids to rid the nation's homes of firearms once Congress passes and Obama signs the sweeping legislation.

He said agents are being trained to discriminate between illegal gun owners and those who will have the right to continued gun possession, such as minority activists, undocumented immigrants, Washington and Colorado residents who possess valuable amounts of decriminalized marijuana, and gang members whose lives are constantly threatened by opposing gangs.

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