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Today's synapses

School vouchers would be a disaster because so many unqualified and underqualified teachers would be fired that class sizes would unnecessarily grow.

The Federal Communications Commission is reviewing a petition signed by 3,352 liberals who want Fox News to lose its broadcast license. Russian leader Vladimir Putin signed the petition, saying "The FCC should follow my country's lead and ban news outlets that don't repeat official propaganda."

Mitt Romney was asked why polls show that he is doing well except in California, where President Obama has an 11-point lead. "Most Californians like politicians who try to cure overspending by more unsustainable overspending," the former Massachusetts governor said.

Remote sensing polygraph reveals what Obama really means

by May Read

May 26, 2012, LOS ALAMOS, NM — Inventor Izzy Lyon announced Friday that his remote sensing polygraph machine has shown that President Barack Obama seldom makes statements that are not deceptive. Lyon, whose maternal grandfather, Dee Stroier, worked on the Manhattan Project that created the first atomic bomb, said his Falsehood Indicating Biessameter (FIB) showed that about 6 percent of 1,237 videotaped declarations by Obama contained no deception.

"That's low even for a career politician," the inventor said. "The average politician is 12 percent. That is not to say they tell the truth 12 percent of the time because when they think they're telling the truth, they're still wrong about half the time. So the average politician is either lying or making false statements about 94 percent of the time, and Obama is worse than that at about 97 percent."

The FIB measures seven indicators of deception, including breaths and blinks per minute, voice quivers, eyebrow lifts, lip pursing, facial muscle twitches and a measurement that has been kept secret by Lyon.

An MIT researcher of analytical electronics, Prof. Hy I. Cue, said tests by the Logical Independent Assessment Registry (LIAR) indicate that the remote sensing FIB is even more accurate than a conventional polygraph machine.

Special software applied to FIB measurements replaces a subject's deceptive statements with words that indicate truthfulness. Sound wave duplication software then produces truthful statements in the subject's own voice.

Truth regeneration expert Dr. Marv Ellis said the differences between what Obama believes and what he actually says are so vast that listening to his actual beliefs can be unnerving.

Ellis said the software, TruthChek, automatically replaces lies of commission with statements that the subject actually believes. It then inserts proper words, phrases and terms where appropriate to correct lies of omission. The software cannot verify the truth of a subject and deals only with the subject's attitudes about the veracity of his or her own statements.

"Some politicians will ignore logic, history and irrefutable facts to hold to beliefs that align with their biases," Ellis said. "For example, Mr. Obama actually believes that raising taxes will stimulate private businesses to hire more employees, but that should be expected since he has never worked in the private sector."

Ellis released a list of regenerated statements that indicate Obama's actual beliefs rather than his verbalized statements:

For example, when Obama said last week that he had "signed $2 trillion of spending cuts into law," he actually meant, "Congress wouldn't go along with my plans to borrow an additional $2 trillion to give to corporations that are contributing to my campaigns."

Obama as a candidate in 2008 promised that nobody making less than $250,000 would face a tax increase during his administration. What he actually meant was that all citizens, regardless of income, will be required to make additional "voluntary" contributions to the federal government in the form of fees and higher costs imposed by the government.

When the president said that sharing the wealth is good for everybody, what he meant was, "I will not redistribute the income of any American citizen who does not have a job."

What was the president's motivation for seeking passage of the health insurance reform bill?

"Federal health care reform will remove unfair advantages currently possessed by largely white suburban families who have sufficient resources to pay for insurance that covers medical costs," he said.

What is the truth behind Obama's claim that he has done more than any previous president to increase domestic gasoline production? "I did everything possible before this election year to stop oil companies from drilling, but I could do nothing about stopping them on private land."

Does the president really believe as he has said that "eliminating our addiction to fossil fuels is vital to the future of mankind" because burning them releases greenhouse gases, which cause catastrophic global warming? The truth: "I criticize the burning of any fossil fuels because environmental organizations that are opposed to development of any kind are among my most generous supporters."

Was the president earnest when he took an oath to protect the Constitution?

His modified statement, "I pledge to protect the U.S. Constitution from those who would use it to prevent me from redefining and reinterpreting it to support my radical policies."

Citing fears that Obama would outlaw guns and ammunition during his second term, when he will not have to worry about reelection, gun owners across America bought so many guns and ammunition during Obama's first term that manufacturers could not keep up with demand. Were such fears unfounded?

"I will not take guns away from law-abiding American citizens as long as their weapons are modified to prevent discharge, whether accidental or intentional," reads Obama's regenerated statement on the topic.

FIB and TruthChek verified Obama's position on personal savings.

"As long as greedy Americans have surplus funds stored in bank accounts," Obama said, "there is a need to redistribute income to inner city families who cannot afford to buy the things they want and to the government so that Democrats can give more free goods and services to their constituents."

On pro-choice: "I am opposed to abortion except when there is a possibility that a fetus can become viable if allowed to remain in the womb until birth."

On charitable contributions: "I am committed to using the might and power of the federal government to compel citizens to contribute to the charities of my choosing rather than committing my own hard-earned income to charities that need far more than I possess."

On illicit drugs: "I believe the federal government should not interfere with certain basic civil rights, such as the right to ingest or inhale vegetable compounds derived from hemp or coca leaves."

On reaching compromise with political opponents: "I am willing to listen to any bipartisan proposals except those that differ from my own policies."

On unemployment: "Any person who contributes to the rape of the earth by working in an industry that produces or uses energy derived from the burning of fossil fuels has earned the right to join the ranks of the unemployed."

On illegal immigration: "Undocumented aliens who pledge loyalty to the Democrat Party should receive permanent immunity from prosecution for entering the country illegally and should be rewarded with full citizenship, retirement, public education and health care benefits."

On the so-called war on women: "I am outraged when a conservative questions the morality of single liberal women who want others to pay for their birth control, but I see nothing wrong with commentators on my side from calling Republican women any four-letter word that I deem appropriate."

When Obama as a candidate promised that no lobbyist or donor would work in his administration, what did he actually mean? His TruthChek-modified statement, "I won't hire any lobbyist except for those who contribute money to me or the Democrat Party."

What did Obama mean when he said he would make his administration open and transparent? "My administration will be completely transparent except when doing so could cost me votes."

Lyon said he is working hard to make FIB even more powerful. A new software update, LipChek, actually can read a speaker's lip even when no microphone is nearby, instantly translating the message into the speaker's true intent.

"I tried LipChek on Michelle Obama during a 9/11 ceremony when a veteran was folding the American flag," the inventor said. She said, 'All this for a damn flag,' and the president nodded his approval of her comment. What she meant to say was, 'I had to skip another taxpayer-paid vacation for this ridiculous ceremony to honor a symbol of international imperialism and military superiority? You owe me big time.'"

Quote of the Day

"There are three types of lies ― lies, damn lies, and statistics."

― Benjamin Disraeli.

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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