Today's Synapses

The Rev. Jeremiah Wright and the Rev. Louis Farrakhan are upset that Obama used them to gain office and then threw them under the bus. They were evidently in divinity school, learning how to monetize manufactured racism, when they missed lessons on Sal Alinsky's "Rules for Radicals," particularly the lesson on how to drop the radical pose.

Actor Ben Affleck and avowed communist and former Obama administration czar Van Jones have been hanging around together lately, trying to ensure that Obama is reelected. Word has it that Affleck wants Jones to help him redistribute his income to actors who haven't landed any high-paying parts.

I wonder whether B. Hussein Obama wishes he had done away with Obama's lin Baden?

For every first-time donor the Obama campaign attracted in April, two workers dropped out of the labor force.

Limerick of the Day

Getting hitched

A man got engaged to his horse,
He thought it was legal, of course,
If Tom can marry
His best friend Harry,
We also should wed and divorce.

Businessmen know nothing about giving everybody a fair shot, Obama says

by Burden D. Hand

May 23, 2012, Washington, DC — President Obama held a press conference Thursday to repeat his assertion that Mitt Romney's business experience does not qualify him to be president.

"While Romney and his investors in Bain Capital were making millions of dollars by creating companies and turning around failing businesses all over the country," Obama said, "I was getting the experience I would need to become our fourth greatest president by working hard as a lawyer, trying to get the economy going in the South Side of Chicago.

"While Romney had things easy, raking in money by starting up Staples and all those other companies that he likes to talk about, I had to learn to work with disappointment because it's hard to get anything changed in the South Side. I mean, if you've dared drive through there lately, you'll see what I had to work with because it's pretty much the same as when I was there."

Obama said his work gave him an opportunity to think about how to help everybody have a fair shot at the American dream.

"My most important job as president is trying to figure things out," he said, "and that's what I was doing in Chicago, first as a community organizer and then as a lawyer and then as a state legislator and then as a senator. I was always thinking and trying to figure things out. Not only did I think about ways to give everybody a fair shot from the top to the bottom, but I was also thinking about how the community could attract businesses. I thought about how rich people should pay more taxes. And I thought about how I could invest that money in science and technology and infrastructure, which could then create jobs. I pretty well thought about it all, and then I started working hard by talking, and I've been talking ever since, which is why I'm so good at it."

Obama criticized Romney for bragging that Bain increased profits in 80 percent of the more than 350 companies in which it invested.

"That means they were a failure 20 percent of the time," the president said. "Romney likes to talk about all the jobs that he created with his successes, such as Staples and The Sports Authority and Burlington Coat Factory and Burger King and on and on, but he doesn't like to talk about the companies that he wasn't able to save."

The president said he personally has saved "millions and millions" of jobs by taking decisive action to borrow trillions of dollars from China to stimulate the economy. He listed several of his accomplishments, which were made possible by spending $10 trillion more than the federal government received in taxes, fees and royalties.

  • Saved 22.5 million government jobs. "It's vital to save government jobs," Obama said, "because almost twice as many people work for the government than in manufacturing [11.5 million]."
  • Saved about 100,000 jobs by saving 4,000 GM dealers. "I had to close 1,100 GM dealers," Obama said, "but I prefer to think about all the jobs I saved at the dealerships we left open."
  • Saved 39,000 car manufacturing and sales jobs with the "Cash for Clunkers" program, which cost less than $77,000 per saved job [the program cost $3 billion]. "I think our children and grandchildren will be happy to pay higher taxes someday in the future, knowing that they helped save these jobs for a few months," the president said. "I was a little disappointed that Asian car companies got most of the money, but that's where it came from in the first place."
  • Saved 1,100 green jobs for a couple of days at Solyndra for only $535 million, or about $435,000 per person. "I was hoping we could save the jobs for a year or so," Obama said, "but nobody told me the Chinese were cheating by selling solar cells so inexpensively that Solyndra just couldn't compete." The company declared bankruptcy in September 2011, the same month that the Department of Energy had predicted it would go under even before the Obama administration pressured DOE to approve the loan.
  • Created 900 construction jobs at Mojave Solar by lending the company $1.2 billion. "That's only $1.3 million per created job," the president said. "I'm really confident this company will succeed, but if it doesn't, we can borrow more from the Chinese to start other companies that I have in mind."
  • Saved GM by lending the company $52 billion and then calling the loan paid off after GM paid back $6.7 billion. "The best way to make a company successful is to give them all the money they need and then not make them pay it back," Obama said. "I'm surprised that Romney, who is supposedly this smart businessman, doesn't know that."

Obama agreed to take three questions before leaving for a fundraiser in Silicone Valley, where he hoped to persuade venture capitalists to contribute toward his reelection campaign before taking in a round of golf. The first question was raised by Carr Poulton Elsindrome, financial reporter for the Los Angeles Times and holder of the world speed typing record before nerve problems in his hands forced him to withdraw from competition.

"Your campaign attacked Romney for the bankruptcy of GS Steel even though he had left Bain Capital two years earlier, and the head of the plant's union didn't blame Bain at all but cheap foreign imports," Elsindrome said. "How can you justify this attack?"

Obama said that while some details of campaign ads attacking Romney might be incorrect, the message is still the same: Romney is a rich man who doesn't care about anybody else and, therefore, is unsuitable to be president.

The second question came from Tim Burr, White House correspondent for National Logging Magazine, who asked, "Your second Bain attack ad aimed at Mitt Romney says he is to blame for the jobs lost at Ampad in 1994 when he was actually taking a break from Bain to run against Sen. Ted Kennedy for the senate. Why are you taking things out of context?"

Obama replied that Bain Capital and venture capitalism is a complicated subject that most voters cannot comprehend.

"The important thing for people to know is that Governor Romney used to be in charge of Bain Capital," the president said, "and so he is responsible, in people's minds at least, for everything Bain Capital did before or after he was working there, just as President Bush is responsible for all the bad things that have happened and might happen while I'm in office."

The third and final question was asked by political reporter Brighton Early of the Dallas Morning News.

"Some people are having a hard time understanding why you blame President Bush for approving unsustainable spending by a Democrat-controlled Congress, and then you want to correct the economy by even more unsustainable spending," Early said. "Can you explain this?"

Obama said few people understand the economy, including Republican economists, who have the mistaken idea that the government should not spend more than it brings in except in emergencies.

"I give the public a lot of credit," he said. "Most people know that if you dont' have enough money to pay your bills, you just get a loan. And if you can't pay the loan, then you get another loan or another credit card. If you can't pay off that loan or that credit card, then you get another one. Eventually you're going to die or get divorced, and then your children or your ex-spouse can pay your debt. That's exactly what I'm doing to cure the economy. We can't pay our bills, so we're borrowing more money to pay them. But we're a long ways from declaring bankruptcy. And what is China going to do to us if we don't pay back all the trillions we're borrowing from them? Take Yellowstone? Give me a break."

But before Hardy Bush, a reporter for the Environmental News Network, could ask why National Park Service employees are taking Chinese lessons, Obama was out the door.

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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