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When reality collides with satire

Russia wants Obama reelected

by Candace Spencer

June 20, 2011, Moscow, RUSSIA — Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said today he wants President Obama reelected.

"President Obama has made great strides in fundamentally transforming America," he said. "Many of his changes are exactly what I would have done if I had been elected the president of the U.S. He is closer than ever to eliminating private health care, he has partly nationalized his country's largest automobile manufacturer, and he has been able to get a lot of support to redistribute income from those who make a lot of money to those who don't work."

Medvedev said his sources of American news — CNN, the BCC, NBC, CBS and ABC — have convinced him that all Republican candidates are extremists who would allow capitalist corporations to thrive while starving the young and the old, polluting the environment and giving money to the rich.

"Electing anybody other than Obama could set back socialism 30 years," he said.

Medvedev said he was disappointed that Obama succumbed to public pressure and forced two of his leftist aides — avowed communist Van Jones and Mao Tse Tung admirer Anita Dunn — to resign when their fondness for communism was revealed.

Retired Cuban dictator Fidel Castro also has announced his support for Obama.

"President Obama has done more to close the poverty gap than any American in history," Castro said. "His courageous decisions have resulted in a great deal of progress to eliminate the cancer of capitalism. I salute him for cutting back the size and power of corporations, but he needs additional time to nationalize industries."

Other foreign leaders who said they favor Obama over any Republican are Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Venezuela's Hugo Chavez.

"Obama is not perfect," Ahmadinejad said. "He invaded Libya and is bombing Pakistan, but a Republican probably would have started three times more wars."

Chavez said he has had a soft spot in his heart ever since Obama shook his hand and accepted a copy of a book about U.S. imperialism south of the border.

"I'm more right wing than Obama," Chavez joked.

Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) said the support of left-wing, liberal, socialist and communist dictators is proof that Obama is on the right track.

"I told Shell Oil that I want to nationalize all the oil companies," she said. "Obviously, President Obama is solidly behind me. If he is reelected in 2012, I pledge to work with him to tell the big corporations to take their jobs and shove them."

Quote of the Day

"Communism destroys democracy. Democracy can also destroy Communism." — Andre Malraux

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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