Unequal pay: When crime pays

Hispanics riot over U.S. flag

Secret Amnesty Bill Includes Free Tuition, Tax Credits, Retirement

by Thad S. Inkret-Ibel

WASHINGTON, D.C. — "We can't win re-election without amnesty for illegal aliens," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid told colleagues as they plotted in secret to write a bill designed to bring 10 to 30 million new Democrat voters to the polls in November.

That was just one statement captured by a tape recorder concealed in a mole's briefcase as top-level Democrats met Sunday to discuss strategy to prevent a disastrous mid-term election. The suggested solution? Give instant citizenship to all illegal aliens, making them eligible to vote for their benefactors.

The bill not only includes amnesty for foreigners who have sneaked unlawfully into the country, including gang members and those who previously have been deported, but it also forgives any back taxes while making undocumented immigrants immediately eligible for tax credits, free health insurance, free medical care and free college tuition. It even pays for their immigration attorneys and includes more than $2 trillion to pay for their retirement benefits.

These are the same provisions that were featured in a bill that the Democrats tried to rush through Congress during President George W. Bush's term. But now it appears likely to pass, said Washington observer Holt R. Wallitz, with President Barack Obama ready to sign the bill and Democratic Congressmen and Senators running scared after polls show historically low approval ratings among traditional voters.

"Look, we got health insurance through without one Republican vote," Reid is heard saying on the secret recording. "But it's backfiring on us as people realize they have to pay taxes on their benefits and their insurance rates are going sky high. The polls show that we've got the black vote and most of the union vote, but pretty well everybody else is jumping ship. The only way we're going to win is to bring in new voters, and this bill will do it."

This video shows the old bill after which the new bill is patterned.

An unidentified voice on the recording urges panel members to include a provision that illegal aliens must be granted citizenship within 24 hours of application, even if a background check is not completed.

"Nobody can do background checks on Mexicans within 24 hours," somebody said.

"I know. That's the point. You can't do a background check of somebody in Mexico, period, so let's just give them 24 hours, and we'll have a whole bunch of new voters who will be Democrats for life."

"But what about the criminals?"

"They come here anyway. We might as well give them amnesty, and we'll get at least one vote out of them before they're arrested and lose the right to vote."

"We're working on that," a third voice said. "We tried giving voting rights back to felons when Bush was here, but he wouldn't go for it because he knew most felons would vote Democrat. But Barack will go for it. Come to think of it, we ought to hide it in this bill."

"Right on," a fourth voice responds.

A voice that could be no other than that of former President Bill Clinton then offered a devil's advocate point of view.

"If the public gets wind of this, you might not even get this bill through committee. It's paramount that everybody here keep completely quiet about it when you leave this room."

"You got it, Prez," said a person who sounded like Vice-President Joe Biden.

Nancy Pelosi piped in with her assessment of how she could get the bill through Congress.

"If you Senators can push this through, I can get it through Congress easy," she said. "We got 2,300 pages of the health insurance bill through without anybody even reading it. I even told them to vote so that they could read it, and some of those guys fell for it. Same thing this time. I'll tell them it's a good bill that will save the party, and they'll vote for it sight unseen."

"What happens if the economy really tanks, and there aren't enough jobs for our citizens?" Clinton asked.

"Who would you rather have jobs?," Reid said. "Rich white Republicans or these new Latino Democrats? Our guys will work for peanuts because we'll be covering most of their expenses anyway. Even I might work for next to nothing if I had free insurance, health care, retirement, food, housing, and tuition for my kids. There will always be enough jobs for our new citizens."

"I'm still worried about this getting out," Clinton said.

"Even if it does, nobody would believe it," Reid said. "We'll just say it's a conspiracy theory put out there by some racist wacko. The media will buy that."

"All I know," Clinton said, "is that we can't lose our base in the party right now. So we've got to keep this quiet."

And with that the tape goes silent. The person who supplied the tape to us is a Republican in secret and a Democrat in public. He hails from a state with a long Democrat tradition, so he realized that he had to join the Democrats to win office.

"I never realized that back room politics were this bad until I got on the inside," he said.

Quote of the Day

""The tolerant liberals suddenly become very intolerant when their official religion is challenged." — Ann Coulter.

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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