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Today's Synapses

Gingrich apologizes to Romney over abortion claim. "My ad was highly misleading," he said. "I didn't think anybody would notice."

The Democrat producers of "Game Change," a movie that portrays Sarah Palin as a bumbling ignoramus when she was the Republican nominee for vice-president, say the movie is accurate. "She didn't even know Alaska was part of the U.S.," said Assistant Executive Libby Rule. "She also thought mammoths were endangered, and when meeting Barack Obama said she had never before seen a black man."

"I loved the movie," Sarah Palin said of "Game Change," the new movie that her aides say is a pack of lies and portrays the former Alaska governor as intellectually and emotionally lacking. "Didn't Julianne Moore look pretty in my clothes? It reminds me of the best vacation I ever had. I just wish I could could have gone to all 57 states that President Obama got to visit. Lucky bum!"

Obama signs Trespass Bill, criminalizing disturbances at presidential campaign stops. "The First Amendment was never meant for people who speak out of turn," he said, "especially when it's my turn."

Sponsors pulling Limbaugh ads rush to shock jocks, liberal media

by Dee Veedy

March 10, 2012, New York, NY — Sponsors who canceled advertising on Rush Limbaugh's radio show have been surprised to find welcome mats at venues that oppose Limbaugh and his conservative principles.

That's what a dozen former Limbaugh sponsors are saying as they find their advertising dollars are welcome at "Real Time With Bill Maher," "The Howard Stern Show," MSNBC, the New York Times and Newsweek Magazine.

Limbaugh lost sponsors after he called liberal activist Sandra Fluke a slut and prostitute for wanting others to pay for her birth control pills so that she could enjoy "unrestricted, no-consequences sex." The influential talk show host later issued an apology, saying he had used insulting word choices and had allowed himself to sink to the level of his political opponents, such as the de facto leader of the Democrat Party, Bill Maher, who has called various Republican women pejorative terms for female genitalia, prostitutes and sex objects.

The apology was not enough as more than 40 sponsors dropped "The Rush Limbaugh show," according to some media observers.

One of the show's biggest sponsors was Carbonite, a data backup service. Vice-President Ballou S. Kreen announced yesterday that the bulk of the company's advertising budget would be spent on the Maher and Stern shows.

"We don't care what those guys call women," Kreen said. "They're comedians who do commentary, not commentators who do comedy. We think there's a big difference."

When Skinnyreporter asked Kreen to specify the difference, he said it was that "comedic commentators make fun of the truth, while commentating comedians make funny lies and make lies funny."

The marketing director of Legal Zoom, Cambodian-American Sue Mi, said she was pleasantly surprised at "the nice reception" the liberal media gave her when asked whether they would accept $16 million in advertising dollars. "We thought they would still be mad at us on principle for giving money to Rush, their sworn enemy."

She said executives at her company have no problem sleeping on their Sleep Number beds now that they have found a way to reach thousands of new customers.

"We're not bothered by sponsoring shock jocks," she said. "The difference is that you're not shocked by shock jocks, but you are shocked if non-shock jocks talk like shock jocks."

Meanwhile some conservative women have been calling for President Obama to return a $1 million donation that Maher gave to Priorities USA Action, a pro-Barack Obama Super PAC.

Palin on Thursday called for Obama to return the money for the sake of his young daughters.

"The president said he called Sandra Fluke because of his daughters," she said. "Then why doesn't his Super PAC return the $1 million he got from a rabid misogynist?"

Celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred revealed Thursday that she had asked a prosecutor in Florida to press charges against Limbaugh for calling Fluke names.

"It was illegal because it wasn't funny," she said.

When Skinnyreporter asked Allred why she doesn't seek prosecution of Maher for his comments about Republican women, she said Maher is truly funny.

"I was literally laughing my guts out when he called Sarah Palin a f#&@%# c$#&," she said. "After all, she deserves it because she is a f#&@%# c$#& who opposes a woman's right to choose.

"Bill was even more hilarious when he said she should have had her Down syndrome fetus decapitated, dismembered and diced up. I just about broke a rib on that one."

Howard Stern said he welcomes former Limbaugh advertisers because he needs more money to pay prostitutes, strippers, adult film actresses, transvestites and transgenders to appear on his show.

"Mine is a true family show," he said. "Especially if the family consists of two gays, or three or four swingers, or a daddy who used to be a mommy living with a mommy who used to be a daddy. These people need Sleep Number beds even more than Rush's fans."

Some liberal comedians say they might tone down their rhetoric against conservative women.

Standup comedian Ruth Les said she might stop calling former First Lady Laura Bush a whore and employ a "more civil term such as prostitute."

Talk show comic Tanner Hyde is considering a similar change, but said both Republican women whom he has met have tough skin.

"I'm a little concerned that I might get fewer laughs if I call Michelle Bachmann a #^$&# instead of a &^*%$#&# t#*$," he said.

Barbara Walters, once the most highly paid news anchor in the world, and now the hostess of "The View," said she is now a commentating comedienne rather than a comedic commentator, a perspective that allows her to excoriate Limbaugh while simultaneously praising comedians who use the vilest of terms to label conservative women.

"You can't laugh at people when you're on the news desk," she said. "But wasn't that a hoot when Ed Schultz called Laura Ingraham a slut?"

She said Schultz is obviously a commentating comedian because he makes a living by comedically making and repeating falsehoods.

President Obama, who has repeatedly called for a more civil discourse between Republicans and Democrats, reiterated today that both parties "should learn to get along."

"It would be a lot easier if the enemy who drove the economy into the ditch would stop demonizing me and my party," he said. They gotta quit pushing for dirty air and less people on health insurance.

"Maybe we could be friends if they wouldn't try to run the country off a cliff to make me look bad. It's pretty hard to get along with terrorists, blackmailers and extortionists when they use their votes to try to keep me from getting what I want, instead of compromising like politicians are supposed to do and let me govern the way I see fit."

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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