Gibson shut down to create jobs

'Tea Party is America's enemy'

Feds expand graphic warnings

Troops to fight Tea Party terrorists

Cuts are actually increases

Obama ready to compromise?

Crybaby Boehner tattles

TSA starts internal exams

Obama wants tax hike to cut spending

Whistleblowers threatened

Economy surprises experts again

Russians want Obama reelected

Obama job plan bans ATMs

Palin emails

GM CEO wants $5 gas tax

When reality collides with satire

Judge bans mention of God

Weiner's multiple personalities

Demos celebrate food stamp record

Ecstasy over high gas prices

Unintended misogynistic slur

Obama: Reincarnated Reagan?

Huntsman: 'Romney a large varmint'

Obama to return Texas to Mexico

Rich folks told to share wealth

Obama's civility inspires

Volts sell like moldy hotcakes

Drone killed art students, birds

'We thought it was aspirin factory'

Hillary allergic to sight of blood

Critics decry murder of Osama

Few qualified to replace Osama

Obama's bold plan: Raise taxes and spend more

by Perry Audakel

July 3, 2011, Washington, D.C.— President Obama today said Republicans must raise taxes, or he will refuse to sign a federal budget bill.

The president in December agreed to delay a tax hike for two years, saying that he wanted to save 1 million jobs. But he said today that his economic stimulus plan has created so few jobs that he must raise taxes now.

"We have to choose between giving tax breaks to owners of corporate jets and keeping children safe," the president said. "Republicans would rather let children die than take away tax loopholes for the rich."

Obama failed to mention that the so-called tax break on corporate jets was part of his own stimulus plan, which was passed by his own party over the objections of Republicans. Only three Republicans voted for the plan (three in the Senate and none in the House).

The break is nothing more than allowing accelerated depreciation on corporate jets from seven years to five years. It was meant to encourage companies to buy new airplanes, which would save the jobs of jet engineers, factory workers, salesmen and all those who provide services for employees in the industry.

Republican leader Brandon Kaddel, who owns one of the largest ranches in Texas, said that harming the aircraft industry will eliminate or reduce the income of about 1 million Americans.

"Almost anybody who lives near an aircraft factory will be hurt by this move," he said. "That's true whether you flip hamburgers, sell insurance, work at a golf course or cut the lawns of people who work in the industry."

"Getting rid of this loophole will save about three-hundredths of one percent of my budget," Obama said. "Even though it might cost a few thousand jobs, I'm sure these brave Americans would gladly give up all or some of their income in order to help me take money away from the rich so that I can spend more on the government."

Obama's proposed budget includes a spending increase that will require the government to borrow an additional $9.5 trillion over the next 10 years.

"We need to do what a family who can't afford their mortgage or has half a dozen maxed-out credit cards must do," Economic Czar Penn E. Stock said. "They would get 10 new credit cards, refinance their house and buy a boat. It's a no-brainer."

Obama on June 28 visited an Alcoa plant that produces aircraft aluminum.

"Alcoa is showing us the future we can build," Obama said. "... At companies like Alcoa reinvention is the way of life."

The next day Obama took six shots at corporate jets.

"Maybe Alcoa will have to reinvent itself again," he said. "They should have known that I don't like jets because poor people don't ride them. Maybe they should have retooled to make bicycles for poor people."

The president's chief global warming advisor, Saul R. Power, agreed that investing in bicycles is a win-win plan.

"If cap-and-trade works as well as we think," he said, "energy prices will skyrocket, and everybody will need a bike."

Perceptive Quote of the Day

"I'll be surprised if [Obama] is not reelected." — Former President Bill Clinton.

Link of the Day

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Arriving at truth, through the Non-Scientific Method: Testing political theories by examining absurdity through the application of illogic, satire, sarcasm, spurious news reports and humor.

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Note: The names of sources often have hidden meanings. Click on links for facts relating to the stories. We strive to answer the question, What would politicians say if they didn't think normal citizens were listening? A skilled observer studies body language and becomes expert at what some call "reading between the lines." We attempt to fill in those lines.

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