Occupy Wall Street demands right to have no list of demands

by Rusty Dorr

Oct. 27, 2011, New York, NY — Leaders of the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement today finally made a demand and posted it on the movement's official website, paid for by an unnamed capitalist.

"We demand the right to have no official list of demands," the statement read. "All the so-called Occupy Wall Street lists of demands have been written by individual members of our movement, and thus we take no responsibility for the inconsistencies, inaccuracies, contradictions, contents, grammatical errors and fallacies contained in them."

OWS Spokesman Beau Zoe, speaking at an impromptu press conference from his jail cell in Manhattan while his friends try to raise his $300 bond without resorting to funds acquired through capitalism, said he is proud to represent a movement that has no consensus on anything.

"Because we have no official list of demands and no official positions on any issue, I am unable to make any official statements as the official spokesman for Occupy Wall Street," he said. "But speaking as an individual and not as a representative of the movement, I would say that most of the individuals who make up our movement want something. However, as a group we demand the right to have a consensus on nothing, and we will continue to occupy Wall Street and other locations throughout the nation until this demand is met."

OWS Interim Leader D.M. Witt said the movement is opposed to all forms of current government, including democracy, theocracy, communism, socialism, monarchy, capitalism, dictatorship, totalitarianism, parliamentary and plutocracy, but is leaning toward the principles of anarchy and revolution.

"We maintain our right not to organize," he said. "We have no plans to set requirements for membership other than a willingness to sacrifice for our cause. Our cause is the right to unite with others like us, to protest wherever and whenever we want, and to stand up for our individual beliefs without imposing them on anybody else within our movement."

OWS Interim Vice-Leader Dunn Bell said the movement refuses to hold elections for leadership positions or on policy statements because members who do not share the beliefs of OWS founders could take over the movement and lead it in an undesirable direction.

"We demand the right to protest without a consensus of what we want," he said. "To avoid disagreement among the dedicated members of our movement, we refuse to make a list of demands that could reduce our unity. Of this we are in absolute agreement."

"Irresponsible news media such as Fox News and Mises.org" have misrepresented Occupy Wall Street by implying that individuals within the movement are representative of the entire movement, said OWS Policy Director Ima Duntz.

"Just because the evil news media have videotaped members of our movement who blame the Jews who run Wall Street," she said, "that doesn't mean we all are anti-Semites. Some of us like Jack Black and Ben Stiller."

OWS Membership Chairman Perren Noyd said the movement refuses to align itself with any group or individual though "the vast majority of our protesters appreciate the support of [billionaire capitalist] George Soros, [millionaire] Barack Obama and the late [billionaire capitalist] Steve Jobs."

Noyd acknowledged that OWS protesters possess a wide range of positions on various issues. She theorized that most are opposed to carbon-based fuels, especially oil produced by "giant, greedy corporations," but there is "wide disagreement over whether nuclear, hydroelectric or wind energy are good alternatives."

"Some of our members are angry at President Obama for his ties to Wall Street," she said. "But most are willing to forgive him for appointing a Goldman Sachs millionaire to be treasury secretary and then having Timothy Geithner give billions of tax dollars to Goldman Sachs and bailing out other Wall Street firms that are too big to fail. I would say most of our members are willing to overlook the president's lending billions to failing solar energy companies that finance his reelection."

Occupy Wall Street is the "most welcoming and open group in the world," said OWS Co-Founder Cal Werdley. He said the group's lack of policy positions and its refusal to release a list of demands makes the movement "mind numbingly inclusive" because "somebody in our movement probably believes in something you believe in."

He said OWS has no plans to poll participants, donors or officers.

"We don't want to have to decide who's a member and who's not a member," he said. "We don't want people who don't agree with us as members, but since we don't have any official policy statements we don't know what they should agree with us on."

Links of the Day

Occupy Wall Street protesters arrested

Proposed list of demands

Manifesto of demands

Obama blocks foreign leader in photo opp

Geraldo shouted down by OWS crowd

Protester: Jews control Wall Street

Jewish man calls verbal attacks on him 'poison'

Youtube video of WS anti-Semitic attack


Here's some advice upon which you can chew

Don't just boil, simmer or stew

And don't ever fear

To lend me your ear

And tell me what's eating you? — Jared LaRocco

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